Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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