Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
