he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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