did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Alive.
So much puke
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
