I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
