If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
