We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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