I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
