Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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