I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had to cum in my sink.
Congratulations! We have a period
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