Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize