I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
