He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
