I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This baby is an asshole
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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