she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
