im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize