I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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