it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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