JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
