Have you finally orgasmed yet?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize