Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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