pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Screwed.edu
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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