There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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