TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
