So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
