I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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