I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
