We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
