I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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