If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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