he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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