just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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