Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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