He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
