need another drink. this is the easiest way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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