i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
