They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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