She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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