so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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