5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
