i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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