No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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