what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize