This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
