Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
did i just pee glitter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
