ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
