We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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