oh god the rape fog is back!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize