I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
