Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
