I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
