the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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