My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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