Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
