we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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