ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
