HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
